seems i've let this thing go a while. whooops. i've been busy working. and watching very, very bad tv, while listening to young people get drunk and flirt horribly outside my window. good times all round.

there are still no vegetarian pies at the pie place around the corner. maybe this week?

so, a week and a half ago i walked to the geographic centre of new zealand. sounds impressive, doesn't it? it's about 10 minutes from here to the bottom of the hill, another 30 minutes to the top. the signage says 15 but it lies.

i was passed by three separate groups of people running up and down this thing. something is very wrong with some people. they're like the people who on online dating sites put 'doing the grouse grind' as their idea of a good first date. come on, seriously? that's gross. anyhoo, one of the runners, after passing me on his way up AND his way down, even had enough energy to say 'nice day isn't it' as i was about to keel over in a pool of sweat. i wanted to punch him. non-violently, of course. but he was too fast.

anyway, the view at the top was lovely, and you could see all of nelson! which i thought was pretty freakin cool. i have really enjoyed the size of nelson, as everything i need is within a short, flat walk. i can even take a slight detour and walk along the river, or through the gardens, to most places. it makes a big difference to those of us who don't drive. really big difference.

so, the view. yes, it's a cheesy panoramic shot (click on it to see it bigger). look how flat nelson is! so clever.



my map of nelson



me on the way back down, partially feeling proud of my hilly accomplishment and partially wondering how many minutes away from a shower i was.



that's it for today. but do stay tuned - next event to be reported on is the annual speed sheep shearing competition... you know, just in case you forgot i was in new zealand.
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I just went to see this movie:



The intro featured Elvira Kurt's voice, and after having listened to CBC for the last couple days and getting caught in a torrential downpour today, I thought maybe I was hallucinating Vancouver. But I wasn't. And the film was fantastic!! Who knew twin kiwi lesbian yodelling comedian activist country singers could be so awesome? Well, the kiwis knew. They've known since the 1980s. Where have the rest of us been??

It's no wonder the local albatross are lesbians. With inspiration like those two, who wouldn't be?

To top (topp!) it off, on the way home I had to stop suddenly because I was walking below the most incredibly fragrant flowers. I actually stood there for 30 seconds or so inhaling strongly. Some of you green thumbs may be wondering what kind of flower it was. I am not a green thumb. It was either a tree or a bush or a climbing plant of some kind (i.e. it was high above me, against a fence), and it had green leaves and stems (unique, I know) and small-medium sized, simple white flowers. And it smelled like I wish I smelled.

Despite the pie place not making their apparently famous vegetarian pies yet (monday, maybe), there have been some very lovely moments this week. I still miss you people though.

Kind of.
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Lesbian albatross. I tell you, they have it all here.

Good news: the pie place opened today! So I will be eating pie tomorrow. Yum.

Also, shout out to those of you who generously sent me food ideas: frances, ben, joshie, and marnie & denise. An honourable mention goes to my mother who suggested delicious items like 'tofu hot dogs left in the sun'. mmmmmm.

The cooking did take a turn for the worse this evening when I realized the indicators on the oven knobs have been wiped off - so no way to tell if I am baking, broiling, baking with fan, just having the light on... and 2 other options (6 options - what the hell!).

Now if only I could find someone to cook a few of those meals for me...
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there's been a small change of plans. I'm going to Nicaragua! Just for a week, just to the beach, and mostly just to hang out with the Goldenberg-Taschereau posse on their 2nd week of vay-cay.

So, my time in New Zealand will end 2 weeks early, and I'll be back in Vanc a week early. But I'll be back with a suntan. Oh wait, I already have that. Never mind. Hahaha. I know, I know, I'm an athole. Truth is, it's raining here right now. Well, spitting. And muggy. And I just came back from the market with raspberries, cherries and baby tomatoes. So yeah. It's still summer. Sorry.

Anyway, there is a point to this. Despite the grand fruit, I need some help in the kitchen. You likely already know that my cooking skills are sub-par (what's worse than sub-par? that might be more accurate) but that I love eating. LOOOOOVE eating. And I am an accomplished eater. It's good to have a skill.

Here in my private digs (I moved across the hall to a private but smaller unit yesterday), the kitchen is petite. As in, bar fridge, microwave, 2 hobs, toaster, kettle, a sink and an oven.



There are 2 small pots and something resembling a frying pan, a little sieve, and a dish that says "oven proof" that is about 6" diameter, 1" deep and has 3 sections (why??). A can opener, a slotted spatula and slotted spoon. And a decent selection of bowls, plates, glasses, mugs etc. Plus cutlery. Oh, and some knives that aren't very sharp.

So what is a girl to make? I am a fan of eating something hot daily. So far I've been very well treated by the pizza place down the street (sooooo delicious, all vegetarian, thin-crust, real Italian pizza) and just discovered a decent veg/tofu pad thai a few doors down. I am waiting eagerly for the pie place on the corner to re-open after their big renovation. But that's not really a well-rounded week's worth of food, you know?

I keenly await your suggestions!

Oh, you should also know that I have about 8" of counter space to work on, and minimal space for leftovers. And I can't eat Indian spices (still). And I'm vegetarian, mostly, with a hate-on for avocados, peppers and cilantro. And my kitchen is in my bedroom so I won't cook anything that smells really strong. And the fridge is small so no bulky ingredients (like, a pinch of this and a pinch of that ain't gonna happen). Oh and I have no spices.

Alright, geniuses, over to you! email your suggestions to avi@bugeyed.ca. Thanks!!
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That's right folks, after his hit blog entry in 2007, MG has penned another update for all you people who were wondering about his fishing adventures. All of you. Here it is!

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A special shout out to Mike Kirkpatrick of latitude guiding. Not only did he lead me to some great fly fishing, he was also a great teacher and his lessons will help me in the coming years.

This beauty was landed by Mike (the other Mike)



I landed this rainbow which put up a great fight, coming out of the water with three massive leaps.



I also learned about walking though farmers fields to get to different stretches of the river.

Lesson 1: Always remember to fully clear the metal wire one has to crawl under when going between pastures. If not, you get a nice shock on the parts of the body that touch the wire.

Lesson 2: Always avoid the cow pies, especially on the walk back to the car. Otherwise you get a nice stench going home.

Lesson 3: Cows are very curious and will follow you as you walk through their pasture. They also are cute to photograph.



Thanks Mike for making my last full day in New Zealand something special. I will keep working on that back cast.

Alright, it's sorted. I've been moaning on for a while to some of you about my quest for accommodation, and as of this morning, I've got an apartment for the next 4 weeks. After rejecting a place with a ladder (anyone remember the trip to the emergency room I took in December 2006 after falling down that stupid ladder in Dunedin?) I have found a generic but hopefully clean and well-stocked apartment across the road from the hostel I've been at for the last week. It's a fab location and I am veeeerry excited to have my own digs! For a while, at least. Until they decide to have someone move into the 2nd bedroom in my apartment (MY apartment). But whatever! I'm totally spending all day tomorrow inside, in my jammies, listening to tunes and eating snacks. Glorious.

There were a few difficult days after the parental units left. Shout out to Thi for reminding me that that is just part of it, and for reminding me that this trip was in fact a very fine idea.

I went to see a movie a couple of days ago. I felt guilty sitting inside a dark theatre in the middle of a sunny summer day. But it was a perfect way to spend the afternoon. I mean, I'm here for the entire summer, and I'm working, and I need to figure out some kind of balance, and going to movies should be part of it, right? Especially when they are as adorable and lovely as The First Day of the Rest of Your Life. I laughed, I cried, I loved every minute of it. Not to mention that I was the only person in the tiny 10-seater theatre, so it felt like a private screening. It was awesome.

On a less awesome note, what is up with bathrooms and thin walls?? My colon is traumatized.

Also, on 2 occasions when I've been sitting on a bench near the river, enjoying a snack in the middle of the day, 2 dogs have run away from their owners to take giant craps directly in front of me. What is up with that?

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Well just in case you were wondering (and I am sure you were), there was success in the hostel this morning. Not only did I manage to have a semi-normal conversation (short and meaningless, but at least not awkward) but I also had success at the other end, if you know what I mean. Ahhh yes, this is just the beginning of my poo chronicling.

Now, to catch up on the last week since Tommy...

There's a music festival currently going on in Nelson, and while it isn't exactly a folk fest (it's jazz and blues, actually), most of you know how we Goldbergs feel about music festivals, and so we decided to enjoy an afternoon of music in the park.

While enjoying the blues, we did what we Goldbergs do best: eat. Sadly I didn't capture the food in the photo, but that white/yellow thing at the bottom was Michael's treat - whitebait (looked sick), and Dianne and I enjoyed baked potatoes from the baked potato truck. Love the baked potato truck!!



There can't be a music festival without a dancing lady



Or, sadly, without rain



On our last day all together (Michael spent his last day in Nelson on an all-day fishing adventure), we headed out to Tahunanui beach. Dianne was having some trouble with the pronunciation (Ta-hoo-na-noo-ee) so we ended up just calling it 'nooney'. Because why not.

We had some difficulty getting out of Nelson, because it required crossing streets, which is apparently not our forte when done in a group setting. I was so busy looking for cars that I didn't notice Dianne had stopped in front of me and I kept walking... It sounded like this

"ok no cars go go ooooooof"

No injuries were suffered from the rear-ending, though I learned a valuable lesson about leaving adequate space between you and the vehicle in front of you. And also about why we usually let Dianne bring up the rear.

On the way to Nooney beach, the only sidewalk is on the water side, and at high tide, with high winds, it's very much like the Malecon in Havana... i.e. splashy and WET.

Michael was so busy giving us directions about waves and timing ("When I say go, you GO!") that he didn't notice The Big One. Dianne and I were safely behind when it struck. And it struck good.



Some days I wonder why we're allowed to leave the house. But I guess a little impromptu sidewalk laundry never hurt anyone. Gongggggg!

It was all worth it - Nooney was lovely.



And just so you are clear on how tropical it really is here, this was next to the bus stop on the way home.



In other news... this may seem shocking to you (it shocked me) but it took us 4 whole days before we made it to the gelato place! But I caught up on lost time quickly.



And the wildlife portion of today's blog: shags by the river (the bird is called a shag. seriously). If you look closely at the rock behind the bird in the middle, you may see a giant white splotch. He waited til we were all watching closely, hopped a little to the right, lifted his tail and took a giant squirt.



Seems appropriate that I wrap up the parental portion of the trip with poo and ice cream, no? It was a good time!

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It's official - I have now quoted Celine Dion. Not sure what that means for my reputation, but it is what it is.

The parental units have left on their long flight back to Vancouver and I am back in hostel-land, trying to remember how to have polite conversation and hold in my toots. Both are proving challenging.

I would like to do big shout outs to DG and MG for all the good times of the last month. Not only did I get to enjoy their company, but also their standard of accommodation (our own bathroom!) and cuisine. Tonight I had packaged noodles for dinner, and then experienced poo fright in the fan-less toilet near the kitchen. So it goes.

So, to DG, for putting together a food care package for me before her departure, and to MG, for having his morning coffee in the bathroom so as to not wake me up, I say THANK YOU. There are many other things to be thanking them for, but it would get boring after a while.

There is at least one more blog post to come of our joint adventure - we did have a few memorable days in Nelson together, and MG is likely already drafting his fishing blog - but for now I need to work on sleep. So, as always... stay tuned.

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to Stew, for playing penguin in the bathtub... I'm so glad our adventures are so inspiring! Maybe next week you can play "I ate too many berries". :)

Happy new year!

We celebrated the end of 2009 in style with the people of nelson. I wrote an ode to the lovely young women.

betwixt cleavage and fanny
there is but 12 inches of fabric
i hope a strong wind doth not blow

Much like ringing in 2007 in Dunedin, the 'talent' on board for the 2010 new years festivities in Nelson was... cheap?

Featuring: Tommy and the dead horses! no, flying horses? Tommy and the dying/flying horsemen? whatever. Tommy and something to do with horses.

They were terrifying.

With such stellar lyrics as 'lookin for a band to play with, lookin for a girl to lay with' and 'I got so high it made my nose bleed' (seriously, that one was repeated several times) it's clear there is some real songwriting talent here. It's just that Tommy's not from here (he's from Wellington).

Putting his raw talent aside, Tommy also has a real stage presence. As in, he is there, and he thinks no one else's presence matters. It started with him asking for some tweaks to the mix in the monitors. Then there was the endless whining about the 'low hum', 'phantom players' and other comments about how terrible the sound was on stage. Then he had to stop for five minutes to tune his guitar. Then the drummer was cold because of the dry ice behind him, and could someone please remove it? Could we have less guitar in the monitor? Followed by the multi-layered description of his bleeding fingers (first it was sticky, then dripping...). Could I have more guitar in the monitor? Finally, the lip-smacking into the microphone of licking blood from fingers.

How could you not fall in love with Tommy?



That's some crazy love in my eyes.

Though I think I was competing for Tommy's love with the dancing woman... you know, there's one in every town, at every show, the one who dances when no one else is, and pretends she doesn't looooove that everyone is staring at her. She is the helicopter-dancer at folk fest, the one with the flowy skirt, who purposefully picks the stages where no one else is dancing so she will be the only one to command attention. She was in fine form tonight. Fine, fine form.

Anyhoo, back to Tommy. For the last song he invited some other guy up on stage to sing, from a band called Cold-something. Coldplay? asked Dianne. Probably. I mean, if I was Chris Martin I would totally give up my New Years to sing with Tommy.

But it wasn't all bad. Before and after Tommy, there were twin sisters who did crazy acrobatics on aerial silks. They were truly amazing. We knew they would be amazing because we saw them practicing earlier in the afternoon. And after every head-smash-defying trick Dianne said 'I'm glad I'm not their mother!'. So Josh, as long as we don't decide to hang upside down from a ribbon suspended from a crane, we'll be ok in the mom-books.



Then some shatty electronicy band came on so we went home. Conveniently, there was a fireworks display at the park behind our hotel, so we had front row seats for ringing in midnight. And I am proud to report that the first thing I ingested in 2010 was jello. Deeeeelish!



Happy new year, beeotches.

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So, were you wondering what happened between penguins and jello? I shall fill you in.

Christmas day in Akaroa was quiet. I stayed inside, in pyjamas. I'm pretty sure that's what Jesus wanted. Oh, and we also did laundry. Jesus definitely didn't want us to smell bad.

We all left the apartment the following day with the intention of going to the Giant's House, a very cool huge garden with amazing oversized mosaic-ed sculptures of interesting things and creatures. I went there with surly Kate in 2007. Well, I had taken an antihistamine to deal with some mosquito bites I was suffering from, and it was about 800 degrees outside, and I nearly didn't make it up the hill to the house. But I did, and then saw that it was $20 to get in, and I was feeling like a sack of shite, and I had already been there, so I thought I would sit in the shade instead. That lasted about 4.5 minutes at which point I was fairly certain I was either going to vomit or pass out, so I asked the woman at the gate (who wouldn't let me in) to let the parental units know I would meet them back in town. She tried to convince me that I really should go in, there was a lot of new stuff since 2007, and I tried to convince her that she was an idiot. Somehow my legs kept moving til I was back at our place, and I managed to collapse into bed and sleep off the bad drugs.

Several hours and much drool later, I was upright again. Barely.

After Akaroa it was back over the vomitous hill to Christchurch, where we walked and walked and walked and found some very funky little stores and had the most incredible Thai food EVERRRRR. Seriously, the yellow curry with pumpkin and other vegetabley items of deliciousness was undoubtably the most fantastic curry I have ever eaten. It was incredible.

Luckily, we even had a bit of room left for dessert. The meal was so amazing that I totally forgot about taking a photo, I was so engrossed in enjoying the flavours. But here is a photo of our licked-clean dessert plates - sticky rice with coconut and mango at the back, and caramel custard with deep fried bananas and ice cream at the front. We left behind nothing but the banana leaf upon which our dessert was served and a lone black sesame seed.



Our thanks to the kind waiter at Chinwag who let us in without a reservation, but most of all to the incroyable chef, whoever you are. You are a genius, and I heart you.

I also really heart whoever designed the interior of the restaurant, it was totally beautiful. Loved those lights!

Another stand-out part of our time Christchurch was the freeee shuttle. I heart free shuttles! It went all around downtown, and in a loop, and like every 10 minutes! Loved the free shuttles. Thanks to the driver who we kept getting, over and over again. I bet he misses us a lot this week. We are very charming passengers.

And now, some photos...

DO NOT TURN YOUR FRONT WHEEL TO A 90 DEGREE ANGLE WHEN YOU ARE RIDING YOUR BICYCLE ACROSS THE TRAM TRACKS. Or you too could end up doing the robot while standing horizontally on your handlebars.



Michael, very excited about another poster.



I like the intro: "You Are Politely Invited to Attend Something Different From Anything Else..."

(it's actually a meeting.)

Over at the botanical gardens, we ran into Dianne's bff, the burl. Note, this is a monkey tree with a burl.



Not a monkey tree. This burl means business.



Large tree, Michael providing perspective. Actually perpendicular to the ground this time.



Real purty flowers.





Baby ducks!!!!!!!





And those fuzzy little fellas wrap our time in Christchurch.

A wretched 6am start took us to the train station for our across-the-mountains trip from the east coast (Christchurch) to the west coast (Punakaiki, via Greymouth). Our first stop was Springfield, where everyone dashed out to take a photo of the mountains.

So I took one of them.



And meself.



Springfield was one of the lucky Springfields to have received a giant pink donut sculpture from Homer and Bart in conjunction with their movie promo. Sadly, a local resident didn't feel so happy about the ode to deep fried goodness and burned the thing down. So the mountains were the only thing to look at.

Punakaiki is a rather small stretch of the highway along the west coast that draws in tourists to look at the Pancake Rocks and Blowholes. (Blowholes. Ha.)

The rocks are large and impressive. Even the non-pancake kind.



Pancakes. Storm a-brewin on the left.



Punakaiki is also home to gigantic flax, that gave Dianne some serious flax envy.



Dianne showing us her sweet surf moves, inspired by the big waves. Hang ten, DG!



After 24 hours in an extremely weather-changeable Punakaiki (sun? storm? freezing? boiling? all of the above) we were back on the bus up to Nelson, where we are currently stuffing our faces with beautiful local summer fruit (nectarines, strawberries, blueberries, cherries, raspberries...) til the parents head back to the other west coast next week. I plan to continue stuffing my face with said summer fruit for a while longer.

Ok, very tired of blogging.
Til next time...
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